Why It’s Hard to Be a Christian in Italy
“ITALY! You’re going to ITALY!” That’s how everyone responded when they heard that I would be spending the fall semester of my graduate program in Bologna. Now, Bologna is a great city itself, and with quick access to other Italian cities like Venice, Rome and Florence, I was sure to be in heaven on Earth. And I am in many ways. The air is clean; the food tastes better here; and the work-life balance makes living to 82 years old a piece of cake.
But what makes me stutter in my breath when I say that I am doing fine here in Italy? Why the sadness behind the smiles? Maybe because I don’t belong to Italy’s people. I’m not talking about the color of my skin or my English language. Italy has long been a country of different cultures meshed together under multiple empires – before and after the Romans. Sicily and Northern Italy are practically different countries culturally, an Italian would tell you.
That “uh” feeling doesn’t reflect that I’m a foreigner or my ethnicity, but my faith – my choice to choose religion. That makes me stand out and make people ask why I wouldn’t enjoy myself in Italy in all ways possible – amore, cibo (the food), the lifestyle and more. And I constantly ask myself, “Why not?! You’re in Italy of all places! Live like the Italians or Romans do!” But then I remember my choice: my choice that I made when I decided not to live not for myself, but for God.
Pleasure is not a sin. Actually, God created it as a gift to Adam and Eve in the Bible. After God created Adam and Eve (the first man and woman) and gave them dominion over the Earth and its creatures:
“Then God said, ‘I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” Gen 1:29-30
God created us to worship him first, but also to enjoy Him. And as gifts and blessings, he bestowed things like fruit and plants on the Earth. They were so good that we didn’t even need meat!
And another gift was when God gave us each other:
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him… But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g]and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” Gen 2:18-20
God was more than enough for Adam’s companionship and being, but God wanted to bless Adam and give him help in his task in taking dominion over the world. Animals weren’t enough for a companion for Adam; God wanted an equal – a like being for Adam - his complement, a woman. And it was probably an amazing feeling when Adam woke up and saw her!
That feeling between a man and a woman was created by God for that purpose: union under God with each other. Genesis 2:24 says, “24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” It’s natural to have those feelings and enjoy them. But they are meant for a purpose and time.
The first marriage was orchestrated by God when after God had made the woman Eve, he presented her to Adam, officiating over the union and declaring it holy. Then, they were free to enjoy themselves, do their work, enjoy the fruits and plants, and most importantly, worship God for all of it.
In a nutshell, I’m not here to condemn sex. It’s a beautiful thing between a man and a woman, and it has a place to be protected and glorified. And just think: if Adam and Eve hadn’t messed up in the garden, we would still be having the best sex ever because it would be perfect with no sin or errors. JUST saying.
Back to Italy: how does this all relate to my statement that Christians have a hard time in Italy? I think it relates because it’s hard to explain how God wants us to enjoy ourselves versus how the culture wants us to enjoy ourselves. God isn’t the cruel judge and lawmaker that tells you what you can and can’t do just for the sake of it. He is just, but He is also a kind, loving Father that wants you to have your best life. And the best part of that is that He allows you to choose!
The same way you can choose who you spend your time with or what you consume, God gives that ability to choose Him as well! Isn’t that awesome – free will? We aren’t robots, but why wouldn’t we choose the best thing for us, which is God.
The Catholic Church is a holy institution and the foundation of the Christian faith. But because it was made by people, it is not perfect and all powerful as some think. And yes, even Protestantism that emerged out of Christianity has imperfections and many errors in its ways. Look at how many disagreements that have been a part of Christianity, and that is why you see the numerous sects of the faith. But the Gospel is true and sound throughout each one; that is what bonds Catholics and Protestants together.
Maybe Italians have a hard time of viewing the Church (Catholic or Christianity) in general with positive eyes because Italians and Europeans didn’t have as much a say, or choice, in how they could relate to their faith. Maybe they felt they couldn’t choose to follow Christ, but were rather forced to because of culture, the power of Rome and so on. Maybe that’s why it is so hard to explain to Italians here and Europeans in somewhat a general sense why I voluntarily choose my faith of Christianity when it was imposed on their peoples for generations and centuries.
However, I think the concept of choice is re-entering the Catholic Church and Church in general with the help of Pope Francis in Rome in his inclusiveness of all peoples and his meetings with interfaith leaders. Christians only believe there is one way to God via Jesus Christ, but we can’t force people to choose that way as hard and detrimental as it seems. We can only love those people and hope that God shows them the way and changes their heart.
When I tried to convey these concepts of faith and choice to my Italian boyfriend a few weeks ago, he had a very hard time of understanding why I would choose something that would delay me or keep me from expressing things to him. He believed love was to be developed through people through their actions in a sense of sharing all with that person. I held this view as well, but I believed it was something to be shared with each other in a committed relationship, the most protected one, which would be marriage. We had the same idea of passion and love; yet, our timing was off on when it should occur.
He wanted to know me intimately from the start: physically, emotionally, mentally and everything about me before I decided to commit fully to a relationship. He thought that complete nudity of the soul would help draw our two souls together.
For me, the special part of getting to know a person and love him is through opening up gradually and choosing to wait to share the innermost parts of a person until complete devotion was decided, officiated and witnessed on the wedding day. That would be the purest, most protected and longest-lasting relationship – built on a lifetime of getting to know each other and open ourselves up rather than rushed.
Needless to say, our relationship didn’t last long because of these irreconcilable ideas. But I am thankful for the experience and getting to know him. It was that part of my journey in getting to relate to another human being and understanding them gradually. I hope all the best for him and his future relationships – no regrets.
I tell you these personal details about me because it exemplifies choice: I chose a better way as I thought, which was God’s way. I had a choice, and I chose what God wanted, which has become my desire as well.
So, when Christians don’t always do as the Italians do, it’s not because we’re denying ourselves pleasure. Maybe we’re just waiting for the perfect time or choosing another type of pleasure that we think is better – God’s pleasure - because “14 [f]or this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come” Heb 13:14. That home is heaven, and the greatest pleasure is worshipping God and being in a relationship with Him for all eternity.
Thanks for listening to a Jesus freak trying to walk the walk on the cobblestone streets of Bologna. Go in peace, happiness and joy.
But what makes me stutter in my breath when I say that I am doing fine here in Italy? Why the sadness behind the smiles? Maybe because I don’t belong to Italy’s people. I’m not talking about the color of my skin or my English language. Italy has long been a country of different cultures meshed together under multiple empires – before and after the Romans. Sicily and Northern Italy are practically different countries culturally, an Italian would tell you.
That “uh” feeling doesn’t reflect that I’m a foreigner or my ethnicity, but my faith – my choice to choose religion. That makes me stand out and make people ask why I wouldn’t enjoy myself in Italy in all ways possible – amore, cibo (the food), the lifestyle and more. And I constantly ask myself, “Why not?! You’re in Italy of all places! Live like the Italians or Romans do!” But then I remember my choice: my choice that I made when I decided not to live not for myself, but for God.
Pleasure is not a sin. Actually, God created it as a gift to Adam and Eve in the Bible. After God created Adam and Eve (the first man and woman) and gave them dominion over the Earth and its creatures:
“Then God said, ‘I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” Gen 1:29-30
God created us to worship him first, but also to enjoy Him. And as gifts and blessings, he bestowed things like fruit and plants on the Earth. They were so good that we didn’t even need meat!
And another gift was when God gave us each other:
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him… But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g]and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” Gen 2:18-20
God was more than enough for Adam’s companionship and being, but God wanted to bless Adam and give him help in his task in taking dominion over the world. Animals weren’t enough for a companion for Adam; God wanted an equal – a like being for Adam - his complement, a woman. And it was probably an amazing feeling when Adam woke up and saw her!
That feeling between a man and a woman was created by God for that purpose: union under God with each other. Genesis 2:24 says, “24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” It’s natural to have those feelings and enjoy them. But they are meant for a purpose and time.
The first marriage was orchestrated by God when after God had made the woman Eve, he presented her to Adam, officiating over the union and declaring it holy. Then, they were free to enjoy themselves, do their work, enjoy the fruits and plants, and most importantly, worship God for all of it.
In a nutshell, I’m not here to condemn sex. It’s a beautiful thing between a man and a woman, and it has a place to be protected and glorified. And just think: if Adam and Eve hadn’t messed up in the garden, we would still be having the best sex ever because it would be perfect with no sin or errors. JUST saying.
Back to Italy: how does this all relate to my statement that Christians have a hard time in Italy? I think it relates because it’s hard to explain how God wants us to enjoy ourselves versus how the culture wants us to enjoy ourselves. God isn’t the cruel judge and lawmaker that tells you what you can and can’t do just for the sake of it. He is just, but He is also a kind, loving Father that wants you to have your best life. And the best part of that is that He allows you to choose!
The same way you can choose who you spend your time with or what you consume, God gives that ability to choose Him as well! Isn’t that awesome – free will? We aren’t robots, but why wouldn’t we choose the best thing for us, which is God.
The Catholic Church is a holy institution and the foundation of the Christian faith. But because it was made by people, it is not perfect and all powerful as some think. And yes, even Protestantism that emerged out of Christianity has imperfections and many errors in its ways. Look at how many disagreements that have been a part of Christianity, and that is why you see the numerous sects of the faith. But the Gospel is true and sound throughout each one; that is what bonds Catholics and Protestants together.
Maybe Italians have a hard time of viewing the Church (Catholic or Christianity) in general with positive eyes because Italians and Europeans didn’t have as much a say, or choice, in how they could relate to their faith. Maybe they felt they couldn’t choose to follow Christ, but were rather forced to because of culture, the power of Rome and so on. Maybe that’s why it is so hard to explain to Italians here and Europeans in somewhat a general sense why I voluntarily choose my faith of Christianity when it was imposed on their peoples for generations and centuries.
However, I think the concept of choice is re-entering the Catholic Church and Church in general with the help of Pope Francis in Rome in his inclusiveness of all peoples and his meetings with interfaith leaders. Christians only believe there is one way to God via Jesus Christ, but we can’t force people to choose that way as hard and detrimental as it seems. We can only love those people and hope that God shows them the way and changes their heart.
When I tried to convey these concepts of faith and choice to my Italian boyfriend a few weeks ago, he had a very hard time of understanding why I would choose something that would delay me or keep me from expressing things to him. He believed love was to be developed through people through their actions in a sense of sharing all with that person. I held this view as well, but I believed it was something to be shared with each other in a committed relationship, the most protected one, which would be marriage. We had the same idea of passion and love; yet, our timing was off on when it should occur.
He wanted to know me intimately from the start: physically, emotionally, mentally and everything about me before I decided to commit fully to a relationship. He thought that complete nudity of the soul would help draw our two souls together.
For me, the special part of getting to know a person and love him is through opening up gradually and choosing to wait to share the innermost parts of a person until complete devotion was decided, officiated and witnessed on the wedding day. That would be the purest, most protected and longest-lasting relationship – built on a lifetime of getting to know each other and open ourselves up rather than rushed.
Needless to say, our relationship didn’t last long because of these irreconcilable ideas. But I am thankful for the experience and getting to know him. It was that part of my journey in getting to relate to another human being and understanding them gradually. I hope all the best for him and his future relationships – no regrets.
I tell you these personal details about me because it exemplifies choice: I chose a better way as I thought, which was God’s way. I had a choice, and I chose what God wanted, which has become my desire as well.
So, when Christians don’t always do as the Italians do, it’s not because we’re denying ourselves pleasure. Maybe we’re just waiting for the perfect time or choosing another type of pleasure that we think is better – God’s pleasure - because “14 [f]or this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come” Heb 13:14. That home is heaven, and the greatest pleasure is worshipping God and being in a relationship with Him for all eternity.
Thanks for listening to a Jesus freak trying to walk the walk on the cobblestone streets of Bologna. Go in peace, happiness and joy.
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